So here’s one thing about me going on lately.
I registered for my school’s filmmaking club. And I didn’t get selected.
But I’m not here to curse out my school or my teacher for not letting me in, as I’m not that person who loves to criticize, because I want to talk about something that personally surprised me.
That too, please pardon my writing if it sounds kind of broad, as I’m jotting this down while rewatching aarya 2 for the 15th time.
So here’s the story: I get home from another long day from school, as always, and I tell my mom about how my 8 hours went. That’s when I told her about the whole ordeal for the first time.
Yes. The first time.
And when I told her that I got rejected, she asked what any other mom would ask. “Why didn’t you get in?” I later told her about how I signed up and everything, and that caused her to launch a whole lecture about me and how I must describe myself to others, work hard, and everything moms say. But I had a question. Note that ever since I started watching movies, my parents have been telling me not to worry about it and stop me from discussing it.
Why did my mom and dad (who later came in) care so much about me not getting into a club about a topic they prefer to stay away from the most?
That made me puzzle and rethink everything for the next three days, as my parents kept blandly reminding me of it.
“If you did these kinds of dramas, you would’ve gotten into that film club.”
“If you wrote your resume like this, you could’ve gotten into that film club.”
I mean, you don’t always see your parents full on slamming something because they “strongly dislike it”, because they’ll most likely encourage it. However, it’s not out of the blue to me and lots of other kids, because our parents have worked hard to come from other countries and they want to ensure we have a perfect future. Most of the time, they’ll tell us to go to a good ivy league school, get a good job, make a fairly good living, and eventually settle down.
In my case, my parents want me to go to an engineering college, and then do what I want for my masters. For a long time, they’ve been helping set the path towards that. But, if I fail at something that my parents usually dismiss as useless, why are they impacted more than me?
Is it because they grew up alongside me in the knowledge of cinema?
Or is it because they also have a secret need for me to grow up to become a director?
To be honest, I don’t think we’ll ever find an answer to this problem, as our parents are too complicated to even fathom. On the surface, they might think something isn’t worth it, but they could be really attached to it.
It’s all kind of like a paradox, really.